The good with the bad....

Okay.... I know that usually in these posts all my fellow mommy bloggers, myself included, are pretty positive, bright, and shiny with our posts about our hilarious kids, our beautiful decorations and parties, our fun vacations, blah, blah, blah.  And I love that.... I LOVE sharing ideas, seeing what everyone is up to, and sharing what we are up to, because let's face it, sometimes a woman's social life takes a backseat to sitting around the house in pj's cleaning up drip after splatter after spill.  But, all that being said, sometimes we all just have a bad day, bad week, heck, a bad month.  And USUALLY, like my case today for instance, our bad times really aren't that bad, especially when you compare them to someone who can't have children or loses a child, someone who is seriously ill, someone who is going through a divorce, someone who just lost a family member, etc....  so I think we hesitate to put our bad days in writing because we feel guilty for complaining when everything is really so perfect.  But I am going to do it anyway.... let the whining begin.
I am STRUGGLING right now.  I know morning sickness is nothing new, and that women do this everyday.  Heck, I have done it twice.  But I am having an emotional breakdown I think.  The pure exhaustion, the raiding the pantry for fattening sugary foods that are going to make me sick and bigger than a house later but taste so good right now, the loss of ability to play anything that requires any amount of energy with my children, the lack of interest in exercising, the lack in interest of even having a conversation on the phone....  you get the picture.  I am not sad about being pregnant, no anxiety about having another baby, nothing like that.... I am happy, I just want to feel like my old self again.  I think I need to listen to my body and sleep and eat and all of that, but at the same time, I cannot completely give into this because that is just making it worse.  If I force myself out of the house, I do so much better once I do it.  We went to San Antonio yesterday and had a great day.... I felt awesome until we got home.  But it's just doing it.  Today we stayed home all day, and I ate almost an entire box of pop tarts while the kids napped.  SERIOUSLY!
SO....... I cannot spend another day wallowing in this misery.  I am so blessed to have 2 healthy children and another beautiful baby on the way, and I have to do my best to enjoy the day and change my attitude.  Here are my goals, starting tomorrow, which I believe to be obtainable:
#1.  First hour of the day: light breakfast, glass of water, and exercise.
#2.  Gain a HEALTHY amount of weight and quit wild pantry raids by tracking meals on the iphone.
#3.  okay.... who am I kidding.... let's start with the first 2.

On a different note, went to do portraits of a few more mended hearts children on Sunday.  Took Paxton and the kids because we were near a park.  Was so mad at myself for not dressing the kids up in portrait appropriate clothing because after seeing the other kids pose, mine were ready to smile for the camera.  I am using one of the pics for Chann's invitation.  LOVE it!  Oh, I designed the invitation today, so that is something, right???